I am ME!!!

First of all (a belated) Happy New year!!!!

Well after a dreadful end to last year I think (at last) I'm starting to feel a little better.  I've got another appointment at the Pain Clinic tomorrow for a Lidocaine infusion to see if it'll help on the new medication the same way it did on the old.  Fingers crossed :-)

A couple of years ago I got my craft room set up and on New Years Day 2011 I used it for the first time to create this journal page which helped me focus throughout the year.  Last year I did the same with this one.  When my depression hit really badly late last year I printed out pictures of my 2012 page and stuck them all over my house to remind me of how positive I felt when I was creating the page.  I just kept saying I want to get back to my Dita page!!

So now a tradition has been born and on New Years Day this year I did another page.  This time I started with a background I had made the day after I went to the docs and talked about how I was feeling.  I used my Moleskine to 'spill' out all of the c**p that was inside.  I used a dipping pen and some colourful acrylic drawing inks and wrote til I filled the page one way, dried it with a heat tool, turned the journal and carried on writing.  It ended up creating an almost tartan background.

I knew I needed something positive to got over the top but I really didn't want to cover all of the writing up but at the same time I didn't want o be able to read it.  So I used a Crafters Workshop stencil called Ringlets and sponged Claudine Hellmuth paint in Altered Orange, Landscape Green, Yellow Pastel, Sky Blue, Modern Red and Purple Palette through it.  These are not the colours I would normally used as they're a bit pastel for me but I'd already chosen an image to go on the page and they matched perfectly.  I then outlined all of the painted areas with a black Promarker using the fine tip.

As I wanted something positive on the page I sat and wrote out a list of all the good things about me.  At least what I consider good things anyway ;-)  I started with the words 'I am' and just added positive words after that.

I wrote all of these words around the curves of ringlets with the same black Promarker.  I stamped the words 'I am me' in Black Archival but they didn't show up too well so I went over them a couple of times with the Promarker to make them stand out.  The image is from a Sunday newspaper magazine and sort of summed up what the page embodies for me.  She looks so content in her own skin and I need to feel that and this page will help me, I'm sure.

I'm still here ;-)

I started my new treatment on 12th November and apart from it being a *very long* day despite Justine being there, it was pretty uneventful.

The reason we had to be in hospital was in case our heart rates dropped after taking the medication.  It seemed such overkill for just swallowing a small capsule but its better to be safe than sorry.  We both had a wireless ECG machine attached to us and every hour the nurse came and took our blood pressure, checked we were feeling OK and took a heart trace.  After all this nothing happened.  There wasn't even a flutter in either of our heart rates - *fantastic*!!!!

The first week I spent feeling very dizzy.  It was almost like I had water in my head sloshing around and I felt nauseous but I could still eat.  Very bizarre.  Last week I began feeling a little more like me apart from being more exhausted than usual.

I can only take medication I have already been prescribed and nothing else new til after Christmas.  This is so the new drug gets into my system and we can really see how I'm tolerating it without any interference from anything else.  Unfortunately this is causing me a bit of a problem.  I am in absolute agony with my legs and can't take any new pain killers to help.  I've got an appointment tomorrow with the Pain Clinic to see if we can up the doses on any of the pills I have now.

Wish me luck!!!

Relapse...again :-(

Well I'm sitting here recovering from a relapse...again.  But this one is the worst I've had in about 10 years.

The best way to explain what has happened is to explain how MS works.  MS is an auto-immune disease meaning that the white cells which normally protect you from infection get all confused and start attacking my own body.  They 'nibble' at the myelin coating surrounding the nerve fibres in my brain and cause all of my symptoms.  The myelin is like the plastic coating on the outside of an electrical wire.  When its damaged the electricity can escape and cause all sorts of problems.  The same thing happens to my nerve impulses when the myelin is damaged.

Anything can set of a relaspe, particularly and infection or bug.  I had my flu injection (which I need due to my suppressed immune system) and I'm sure that what set this relapse off.  Because I'm no longer on Tysabri and have no MS disease modifying drugs in my system, my immune system is basically having a party and having a good old nibble.

I've been to hospital for 3 days to have a 3 bags of steroids put into me.  That meant having a canula in my hand for 3 days and not being able to sleep.  On top of the trips to the hospital and the relapse, I think I've had a bug too as I threw up for a week and couldn't keep anything down.  The doc eventually gave me pills for morning sickness and they did the trick.

I'm still very weak and exhausted and just can't be bothered with anything.  To make matters worse I've had a birthiday in amogst all of this and I've not been able to see Jo as she's had a cold and we didn't want to tempt fate.  So my pressies are still with her.  Hopefully I'll get to set her on Saturday and have another birthday!!

Anyway roll on next Monday as I start my new medication, Gilenya.  I'll be in hospital all day for monitoring but at least I'll be with a Justine who I met while we were having Tysabri.

Apologies for this being a long, wordy post but I thought you might like to know whats going on.

My Union Jack Cushion Cover

Ages ago I was watching Lorraine whilst having my breakfast and they did a whole segment on home furnishings featuring Union Jacks.  In the middle of all of the £60 teapots and £50 cushions there was a picture of a cushion cover from the Pound Shop.  It just seemed so out of place in amongst everything else it sort of made me take notice.

So fast forward a few weeks and I was in a local Pound Shop and found the cushion covers.  They had ordinary plain printed Union Jacks and then they had the swirly ones.  of course the artist in me made me buy *every* swirly one they had.  Luckily for my purse they only had 3!!!

Then a few weeks after that me and my Mam were in Marks and Spencer and saw *the* most fabulous Union Jack cushion for £25.  It was all done in sequins and my suggested that she could stitch some sequins randomly onto my cover.  So thats exactly what she did.

And here is my *gorgeous* cushion and all for the princely sum of £4.49 including the cushion pad and sequins!!  The bed spread behind it on my rocking chair is one that was on my Mams bed before she got married.  It was all hand embroidered by my Gran.  She was one amazingly clever lady!

Journal Journeys Challenge 12

Oooh look at me - 6th of the month and I'm already entering the challenge.  Makes a refreshing change!

I've had a few comments thanking me for tutorials.  Tutorials weren't my intention.  I intended to put all of the details in purely to remind myself of how I did something and why.  I'm so pleased that helps other people too!

Dawn over on Journal Journeys gave us the challenge on 'friendship' this month.  Its a special month as its the twelfth challenge Dawn has given us and she will enter everyone who posts a picture of their entry on her blog via linky a chance to win some blog candy!!

I searched the internet again for some inspiration and I found a quote that says everything that I know makes a friendship a great one.  I wanted to get this feeling over on the page so I wanted it to be quiet and not at all busy.  This'll all make sense when you see the finished page.

I started off by gessoing the page to cover up the ink from last months challenge that bled through.  I'm a messy journaler ;)  I started off by blending Shaded Lilac DI onto the page but it was a bit too pale for what I wanted.  So I used Picked Raspberry DI (a yummy berry pink colour if you've not got it) around the edge of one page and Dusty Concord around the other.  As I continued to blend I noticed that there was a heart appearing on the page where I'd left Shaded Lilac.  Its must've been serendipity cos it works perfectly on the page.

I outlined the heart using a Signo uni-ball in black. It mustn't have like working over the gesso and ink cos the ink only flowed intermittently.  It just makes it look even more hand drawn.  I also drew a couple of lines down each edge of the pages too.

I copied the quote into Word and changed the font to Kristen ITC and made it much bigger and printed it off in grey.  I made sure there was plenty of space between each word so I could cut them out.  I stuck the words to the page and drew lines around them with the Signo uni-ball and traced the letters with a Sharpie to make it look more like handwriting.

This is truly how I feel about friendship.  I can think of no better way to enter this challenge.  Also I've never done a journal page where I've made the words the only embellishment.

Thanks for organising this again Dawn :)

Journal Journeys Challenge 10

Over on Journal Journeys Dawn gave us a recipe for our challenge this month - photograph of a person, stamps, design papers (DP's) and Glossy Accents.  I'm struggling with creativity at the moment and although I love this challenge I wanted to do something a bit different (of course!).  I knew which DP's I wanted to use - Artylicious ones I got as a free gift for joining the now defunct Graphicus Guild.  

Then inspiration hit after spending the day with Jo attempting to start and sort her new craft room out.  She had some Simply Stamping Magazines from 2006 / 2007.  I'd never seen these mags as I had real problems stamping when I first tried and was put off completely!  One of the mags had a tutorial on paper weaving and that was me inspired!

I used Mowed Lawn, Squeezed Lemonade, Peeled Paint and Crushed Olive DI's to cover the background of the page in my Moleskine.  I flicked water over page and mopped it up with kitchen towel before drying it with a heat tool.

I chose a script stamp and swirls in various shapes and over stamped them onto the page using Mowed Lawn and Crushed Olive DI's.  I just stamped them randomly cos I knew they'd be mostly covered by the other elements.

I cut the DP's into strips, some with a fancy edge and some with straight edges.  I then followed the instructions in the mag. 

Place the strips on to a Post it note sticky side up and secure them with another Post it on top.

Then its just a case of weaving more strips in and out of the vertical ones.  Continue til you get to the required size.  Now this is where the mag tutorial was a bit vague.  I discovered that the more strips you add the more strength it has when you turn it over to put some glue onto stick it to the background.  

Maybe I should of attached it to some paper before putting it in my journal but I just stuck it (with difficulty) straight in there!

The next stage was photos.  In 2011 some wonderful women in the North West on England decided to do a (tasteful) naked calender to raise funds for the MS Society.  The calendar was a very beautiful and a great success.  If I'd known about it before it was photographed I would quite happily have joined in too.  I wanted to use those images as they celebrate the female form and also (as my Mam said) you tend not to keep calendars but I'll always have my journal!


Now came the difficult part. Dawn had said to use Glossy Accents to highlight our fave bits.  Hmmmm......

I used two main images and then cut the thumbnail size prints from the back of the calendar and highlighted the girls in those photos with Glossy Accents.





I matted all of the photos to pieces of the same DP's I'd used for the weaving and stuck them all on.  And here is the finished page

I'm really pleased with the way it turned out ;)

Thanks for organising this again Dawn.  Please hop over to Journal Journeys to see some lovely journaling and maybe join in next month?

MS....hmmm (again)

I mentioned in my last post that MS had come to play doing my journal page, well I think its gonna be around a lot more for the next 4 months or so.

I saw my Neurologist in July and we've come to the decision to take me off the Tysabri that I've been on for close of 4 years.  I've been positive for the JC Virus for over a year now and we had previously decided for me to stay on Tysabri as the risk of developing PML were still quite low.  However new statistics have recently come out that show the risk as 1 in 200 which is just far too high.

However there is some good news.  My MRI scan showed no change again, which means my MRI has been the same since 2009!!  And my Neurologist is putting me on the new oral medication - Gilenya, but there is a downside.  I need to be 4 months free of Tysabri before I can start the Gilenya.  So for the next 4 months I will have no Disease Modifying Drug (medication for MS) but I will still have all of the pills I take to help combat the other symptoms.

My MS is aggressive and the only time I've been without an DMD's is the first 6 months after diagnosis and it was sheer hell.  All of the problems I have now with my legs were caused in that period, so I hope you can understand why I'm a tad scared at the moment.  I am determined to keep myself as healthy as possible, but I'm having to learn all over again what my body's limits are and try to stop before I hit them.  For those of you who know you know how hard that is for me ;)